Every relationship is different, and thus, there is no singular reason why a couple may choose to split. With that said, there are some telltale signals common to most marriages that eventually end up in a break-up. Knowing these signs early can allow you to take a better look at the relationship and either quickly make amends to fill in the cracks forming or call it quits before it becomes too unbearable. In this article, we have compiled together a list of 11 warning signs that you need a divorce.
1. You Feel Lonely
Feeling lonely in a relationship is a major red flag that it isn’t working out. Often, a sense of loneliness is a direct result of couples losing their emotional connection. Both you and your partner start to feel distant or estranged from one another. A common symptom of this is finding it difficult to share one’s feelings or vulnerability with their partner or frequently comparing your relationship with that of others.
2. You Feel Defensive Around Your Partner
No one has to be in a state of defensiveness around their partner if there is trust and genuine love between both. If you are constantly on guard when your partner is around or try to hide your weaknesses from them, then it is high time that to seek out a marriage counselor or, if that doesn’t work out, consider a divorce.
3. There is Constant Criticism Between You Both
A little bit of criticism here and there is not harmful and may even be beneficial in a relationship. If you, your partner, or both of you constantly criticizing each other and seldom give compliments, then it is a major sign that separation is likely on the near horizon.
4. You and Your Partner No Longer Feel Any Need for Intimacy
Of course, there is a difference between not wanting intimacy and being too exhausted from life’s demanding chores to seek it. But, even on the better days, if you, your partner, or both of you don’t want any sort of intimacy towards each other, or worse, feel entirely repulsed by the thought, then it is a strong indicator that the relationship is head for big trouble.
5. Partner Refusing to Seek Professional Counseling
Statistics back the claim that seeking out marriage counseling or couple therapy is beneficial to preserving and improving one’s relationship with their partner. Of course, with the said, a positive outcome can only happen if your partner is actually willing to go with you to a professional counselor.
The act of seeking out counseling is an expression of commitment towards valuing the relationship and wanting to keep it intact. If they refuse to attend despite your best persuasion, that it could be a signal that they actually give much importance to the relationship, and both of you might be better off getting separated.
6. Your Partner Is an Addict and Isn’t Seeking Treatment
Substance abuse is one of the leading causes of divorces in the United States, and it is easy to see why that is so. Long-term relationships and addictions simply don’t mix. It can hurt a marriage in many ways; it could lead to money problems; arguments about the repercussion of the addiction; increased risk of domestic violence; emotional hurt for one seeing their partner decline in health and mental state.
The situation can be extremely stressful, especially when children are involved. If the partner who is an addict can’t be persuaded to seek out treatment, then it is better to separate from them entirely.
7. Your Partner Refuses to Talk
Effective communication is key to fostering a healthy relationship between you and your partner. Naturally, therefore, a partner stonewalling can be hugely problematic and accelerate whatever issues the relationship was facing.
Usually, a partner will express silence when they have generally stopped caring about the relationship because it is not working out for them. Unless it is remedied early on, the situation can rapidly take a turn for the worse, with both of you becoming increasingly distant and even start hating each other.
8. Your Partner Constantly Talks About the Negatives
On the hand of the spectrum, you can find your partner rarely, if ever, being silent, instead constantly talking about the negatives of the current relationship. If that is that case, it is a major sign that both of you should seek out professional help immediately and be willing to file for divorce if counseling doesn’t improve the situation.
9. You Don’t Imagine a Future Involving Your Spouse
Remember the time when you just couldn’t think of any future scenario without your spouse being a part of it. Is the situation the same now, or do your dreams now not include your spouse? If the latter is the case, it could be your mind subconsciously telling you that the relationship isn’t as strong as it once was.
Now, this in itself isn’t a sign that you should start making preparations for a divorce filling immediately but rather, to think seriously about what is wrong with the current relationship and make amends before both of you walk down a path of no return.
10. You or Your Partner Tries to Score a ‘Win’ in a Conflict
A healthy marriage involves a compromise from both spouses. Any disagreement between you two should be resolved in a way that allows the relationship to be preserved and the risk of future arguments reduced.
This, however, cannot happen if you, your partner, or both feel the need to score a ‘win’ in the event of a conflict. Then the dynamics of the relationship become that of establishing power rather than that of building a connection. A union on such a basis is quick to collapse.
11. You Actively Attempt to Provoke Your Partner
A sure-fire sign that the relationship isn’t working is when you are constantly testing how far you can push your partner’s tolerance. To this end, you actively look for excuses to initiate an argument with them. What this means is that subconsciously you want to end the relationship but are too afraid to make the move yourself.
If such is the case, you might find the outcome of such a pursuit to be often far more negative than just a divorce. It is always best that partners separate on amicable terms. Rather than push your spouse, express maturity, and talk to them about it. If that is too difficult, consider taking the help of a third-party such as a marriage counselor.
We Are Here to Help
We might not want to admit it or even entertain the thought of it, but sometimes things just don’t work out. In such cases, rather than drag along what is an unhealthy relationship for both, the better decision is to file for a separation.
If you have found yourself in need of a divorce and are looking for some guidance to better navigate through what can be a difficult and long-drawn process, consider consulting our experienced family lawyers. Contact Ktenas Law today!